Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Man, I don't blog much

It's amazing how little I blog. I've gotta change that.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

There's a BOOK!

Yessireebob, I wrote a book. Details to follow.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I wonder

If God closes a door, he opens a window, or so I'm told.

I have a door that's about to close, and darn it, if the windows aren't already nailed shut! I wonder - should I be looking for a crawl space?

Stop, Drop and Barf

Two weeks ago, my family and I made our yearly trip to Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom®. My family enjoyed the rides while I carried stuff, but that's another story.

My son was begging for someone to accompany him on "The Dominator". This ride takes the riders atop a very high tower, then hurtles them back to earth. The riders bounce up and down repeatedly until the ride comes to stop. Riders depart this feature dizzy and nauseous, yearning for terra firma and an air sick bag.

They threw caution to the wind and performed a "Stop, Drop and Barf" manuever, and it wasn't pretty. Haven't these people ever heard the adage "Stop, Drop, and Roll"?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Angels Cry When Good People Leave Us

I spent a month in Stuttgart, Germany as an exchange student. On May 10th, 1979, it was pouring rain as I said a tearful goodbye to my host family. My host mother told me "the angels cry when good people leave us", that was the reason for the rain.

It is pouring rain outside my window, ten miles away from Ground Zero, this September 11, 2007. Six years have passed since thousands of innocent men and women died from a terroristic act on U.S. soil. The angels are still weeping.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Dr Writer Mom's Word of the Day

Ombrology - noun

The rigorous academic study of really happening dudes.

Paris Hilton's been through so many fiances that Harvard University has granted her an honorary doctorate in Ombrology.

©2007 Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D., all rights reserved

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Random Thoughts on a Warm December Day

If it takes six hard thrusts of the plunger to unstop the loo -

and the plunger ALMOST breaks.......

you're eating too much fiber.

Okay, about Britney Spears - everyone else is talking about her, why shouldn't I?

I've studied Anatomy textbooks with less detail than her recent "Southern Exposures". While it is of mild professional interest that Ms Brit had a low transverse cesarean incision, I didn't need to know that :

1. Nothing comes between her and her limo leather seats - NOTHING!

2. She's shorn cleaner than a yearling sheep!

Please tell me they sanitized the seat. I mean, we all know where her nether regions have been.

Seriously, I sure hope she grows up, FAST. She has two BABIES, she's an adult, she gave up her rights to wanton childishness when she said YES to motherhood. I really worry for her kids.

Oh, and to the idiotic teen boys who thought it was cool to flip the bird to my child, and call him "retard" during his birthday party at the mall arcade, I have something special to say, just for you two :

Karma is a bitch. You won't always be young and financially supported by your parents. Someday, you'll get yours. And, please note that the both of you are damned lucky my child was engrossed in a video game, and did not see, nor HEAR you, or there would have been a big old ugly scene with you two in starring roles.

I'm sure your mothers would be so proud.

©2006 Kathleen M. Wooton, M.D.

My column in Savvy Women's Magazine - Kathy's Kaleidoscope

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th - Bad luck is REAL!

This evening, I slipped on my tile floor and landed in a perfect Russian split.

Note that I am 43 years old, I am not a gymnast, and I am most definitely NOT petite. I am the last person on earth that should be performing such a stunt.

OUCH just doesn't give justice to the total pain experience that was that unplanned physical feat.